22nd February 2023. It was around 10 pm. In Bhudpurva village of Kannauj in UP, 27-year-old Brijesh entered his unplastered room and locked the door. He had a B.Sc degree in his hand.
Brijesh took out a matchbox from his pocket and set his degree on fire. After this, he took out a page torn from a copy from his other pocket and placed it on a nearby table. A letter was written on the page.
After this Brijesh picked up his sister’s dupatta lying on the cot in front and wrapped it around his neck. He trampled the ashes of the burnt degree with his feet and climbed on the cot. And finally he tied the other end of the dupatta to the hook used for hanging the fan and hanged himself.
The parents and two sisters present in the house did not know the whole night that Brijesh had killed himself. Like every day, in the morning, when mother Guddi reached the room with tea, she found her son’s body hanging from the ceiling.
Actually, Brijesh was preparing for a government job for seven years. This time was his last attempt, but the paper for constable recruitment in UP Police got leaked and the exam got cancelled.
Brijesh could no longer become a government servant. He did not have the courage anymore, so he decided to commit suicide. He left behind only one piece of paper. It was his last letter for his family and a suicide note for the police.
In December 2023, 67 thousand constables were recruited in UP Police. This recruitment was released after 5 years, for which relaxation in age limit was also given. 48 lakh candidates applied. Brijesh also started preparing for it with all his might.
Brijesh Pal had given the UP Police recruitment paper in February 2023. This was his last attempt. He was hopeful that he would get the job this time, but the paper got leaked… The news of the paper leak shattered Brijesh’s last hope. He told his father, ‘Papa, now we will not be able to do it, the paper has been leaked. Now our time is over. Nothing can be done now.’
We reached Kannauj, about 400 kilometers from Delhi, to meet Brijesh Pal’s family. Brijesh’s house was through narrow roads through fields. It was a four-room house without plaster. A buffalo was tied at the door.
As soon as you enter the house, Brijesh’s room is on the left. Books are arranged in the room. An army cap is hanging on a hanger. Mobile, purse and charger are kept on the table. Shoes are kept on the floor, which Brijesh used to wear while running. Brijesh’s photo is hanging on the wall, just above which is a hook for hanging a ceiling fan, from which Brijesh hanged himself by tying his sister’s dupatta around his neck. Even today, the family has kept Brijesh’s room the same as he had left it.
Brijesh’s mother is sitting on a stool in a room. Since the death of her son, a deep silence has descended on her life. With teary eyes and a heavy throat, she says, ‘Lalla liked potato curry. He was with us for the last time. We raised him so much, educated him, everything went in vain. He betrayed us so badly. I cry within myself, what should I do? I remember him all the time.’
We both are old now and cannot do any work. Earlier, if we had to do some work, we would tell Lalla. Now we have to do everything ourselves.
Brijesh’s mother says that ever since he gave his exams, Brijesh was lonely and quiet. He did not tell anyone about his problems. He was not even eating properly. Everyone had also asked him to take medicine. No one had any idea what was going on in his mind.
On the morning of 23 February, when Brijesh’s mother went to his room to give him tea, she saw her son hanging from a noose. Burnt books were lying below. The police took all his documents along with the suicide letter. The family had taken a photo of the letter on their mobile, due to which they still have the letter.
‘I wish I had not told him to stand on his own feet’
Laxman Pal says while remembering his son, ‘He was around 6 feet tall. He looked handsome. He was also good in studies. He had a dream of joining the army. He had even cleared the physical test several times. He was confident that he would get selected. Running every day in the morning and evening, going to the gym was his daily routine. He was taking coaching continuously for the last 5 years. After doing graduation, he also did ITI, but could not qualify anywhere. This time he was full of hope of passing the exam, but the paper leak spoiled his hopes.
‘We left no stone unturned. There was no problem of money or food. We would just say that you should stand on your own feet. You are 27 years old. Perhaps he would get embarrassed while answering this. There are two daughters, who will go to their in-laws tomorrow. There will be no support left in future. There is two-three bighas of land, somehow we will do farming and feed ourselves.’